☆人SkythaLe人☆’s Blog

I admit I am sometimes being so pathetic..But deep inside of me, I want to stop crying too much and to stop focusing on my problems…I want to stop hoping and waiting for something to change…I want to stop expecting for utmost happiness and comfort…I want to accept the fact that we live in a real world..not in a world of fairy tales and that I am the only one who can make the kind of life I want and deserve…
These thoughts are dancing in my mind…and it feels good…it gives me a sense of tranquility…and it makes me realize that not everyone will always appreciate, love and accept me of who or what I am…And maybe my life has been so complicated coz I have been trying to reach something that doesn’t really exist… I’ve been struggling to attain perfection but everybody knows that there is no such thing…maybe it’s time to stop blaming other people for the things they did to me or did not do for me…it’s time to ignore other people’s shortcomings and to be contented with what I have…I need to stop expecting something in return whenever I give and to learn that being alone doesn’t mean being lonely…I need to learn to be patient…to know how to wait… to stop turning my relationship to something that I would like it to be…and to learn that life isn’t always fair and I can’t always get what I want…to admit my mistakes and not be afraid to let the whole world see my imperfections…

So to all the people around me, lemme tell you this…I am a person filled with fear, sensitivity and anxiety….but I am tired of being such…And I want to say sorry to those people I’ve hurt..Please know that sometimes I am unaware of my bad habits and I become so tactless… and if I said or did some things that pissed you off, I want to let you know that it was never my intention to make you feel that way …so please don’t be afraid to tell me the things you don’t like about me so that I would know what to do and how to adjust ..it will also help me be a better person… and to those who are tired of listening to all my troubles, I am sorry if you hear the same things repeatedly … I just hope you could all accept me for being so weak and for complaining too much sometimes… please believe me that I am doing my best to be more patient, more relaxed, and more accepting … please understand that sometimes my sentiments become too strong that I am unable to control them… after all, I’m only human …We all are…

And to those who made me smile..who gave me comfort, support, love, care, sincerity and understanding…to those who made a difference in my life, THANK YOU and I will always be here to do the same for you…

..I believe that I am created by GOD’s image, called to live a wholesome life.

..I believe that by respecting myself and others, I give glory to GOD.

..I believe that I am called to live out the vission and values of Jesus.

..Recognizing that True Love Waits, sterngthen with courage by the ..Holy Spirit, and supported by the Christian community, I promise to ..live chastely, honoring the gift of my sexuality and avoiding sexual intercourse outside of marriage.

..keep on PRAYING for being HOLY in the eyes of the LORd..

This thought freaks me out..

haha..(laughs)

NOT having a boyfriend does not mean ur not PRETTY.

it only means that you are patient enough to wait for the right guy for you..

oh come on.

I used to think that but once ..

just this night..

someone asked me why i dont have a Boyfriend

..and it stunned me..

..silence was there all over me..

..then i stop and ask myself..

“..hey whats the matter with me?. am i not that attractive?

do i smell bad? am i not Likable enough?..”

..for all FRIGGING QUESTIONS means..

..i was not able to look at the bright side of me..

.It doesn’t mean you’re ugly.

..It could even mean you are deemed “unapproachable”

by guys because you intimidate them with your looks, intelligence, etc.

..There are probably several guys that really want to ask you out,

..but are afraid. I let stuff like that get to me and make me think I was ugly.

..It turns out (my guy friends told me later on) that guys thought

I was too pretty and smart for them to be able to date me.

..Strange as hell, but apparently it was true.

..I still don’t believe them totally, but hey, why not?

..From your PICTURE you look like you’re a very pretty girl,

..so don’t worry. 95% of guys your age are usually chickens

..and lots of the time the other 5% are jerks that just want a girlfriend so they can cop a feel.

but wait a minute

if your thinking that you will be single forever..

NO!!!it will happen, don’t worry. and I bet when it does,

the guy who asks you out is going to be 7394874397 times

better then any of your dumb friends boyfriends.

So the next time your friends ask you if you’ve had a boyfriend just say

“nope! and I’m totally happy.”..^_^

and as for me.

i really feel content being single

and i’m looking for anyone in particular..

but i’m waiting for my right mate that God will hopefully

grant me Someday..

they say “patience is a virtue”

but for me “a PATIENT man has GREAT UNDERSTANDING“

though the thing about patience is that it asks a lot of us.

For one, it require huge amounts of faith and trust.

IN oRder to wait For romance in my life,

i must be able to believe

that GOd’s timing of events is whats best for me.

I have to trust that,

but i must also surrender my wiLL to His,

believing that he’LL bring me e BF if need one.

that He’ll bring me a love story if i need one.

By no means are these low expectations.

I would like to tell you that patience is NOT EASY.

Some of my biggest cry fests have stemmed from the fear that

i’ll never experienced LOVE again.

For some how..

i’ve experience that LOVe thing

a few months ago.

i thought that it would last forever.

but for the second thought it was just INFATUATION

it was not true LOVE.

i was believing in the fact that he LOVe’s me much.

but i was wrong.

again,IT WAS NOT LOVE.

IT JUST AN INFATUATION–a strong feeling.

but hey!.

were talking about patience.

enough of my love story..(laughz)

well.

i hope and pray that my Prince CHarming is out thre somwhere.

i am convinced that he is worth waiting for.

and as i wait for him.,

i am learning how to be the kind of girl that

he’l be looking for.

i am learning to grow

in grace,wisdom,strength ,purity,and godly character.

..weeeeeeee..

..kinda silly right?

,its really funny how life can get hold of you,

TODay, as i stand on the other side of my TEEN YEARS,

i find it weird not to have a boyfriend.

And though all of the junk and all the struggle,

waiting does begin to FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.

ON the MOst difficult of days,

I KNOW THAT GOD’s TOUCH IS THE MOST TENDER OF ALL..

AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME..

AS of me..

ALL i can do FOR now is

to let GOd work on the events of my life

IN THE RIGHT SEQUENCE..